Mother's Day have come and gone. I received greetings, and cards, and be told of how amazing a mom I am, somehow, I cannot accept the compliment. I feel void and empty. I cannot say thank you because I feel that they are lying to my face.
I never wanted to become my mother. Yet my mother told me that I am a terrible person. She told me and scold me, and belittle me in front of my child. I can never be good enough in her eyes. No matter what I do, I will never measure up. I am always set up for failure. For years, I have fought that. I don't think I went far..
I never wanted her poisonous words to mar my person, but sometimes there will be days that it will get to you.
I never liked it when my son is with me, that my mom hovers over. She will point out everything that is wrong that I have been doing, and that she is right. Excuses or not. She is a terrible mother while I was growing up.
She beat me up when I did nothing wrong. She would blame and accuse me of everything even when the accusations are empty. Until now, she would still go on with her verbal abuse.
I am a working mother, yet she tells me she doesn't see me work hard enough.
I don't know, I am very suicidal at this point.
She wants to tell me all the negative things about me, yet she doesn't want to be answered back. I just can't put with the bullshit anymore. She has been playing the double-standard principle on me. I am not a six year old child that she can manipulate. Not anymore. No more.
